I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
