Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
