i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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