there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
