Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Randomize