capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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