i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
