I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize