you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
