are you still at the devil's house?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
