Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think I am morally bankrupt
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
