You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
