The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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