I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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