Jerry, you need to find god
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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