I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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