its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
