I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
