Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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