I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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