last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
