people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
