Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
