Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
