Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
