Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
