Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
