who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
