You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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