That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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