So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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