if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
