when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
