I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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