After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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