I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
