The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
