Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
