Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
