But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
