I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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