someone threw a dead crab at me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I look better un-naked...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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