You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
