We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need to calm my uterus...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize