girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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