you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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