TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize