She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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