cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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