We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize