I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
