Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
