when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize