Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
