did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
