wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
