Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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