Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
