Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
