I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize