I hate your face
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
