So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
