last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
