if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize