so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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