She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
