It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
