i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
