everyone is single if you try hard enough
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
