After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Randomize