I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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