afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
