Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
