Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
