dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
