What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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