he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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