i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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