there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
